Sell In Private

Updated: Apr 22, 2020

One of the key things that I've learned in my time as an entrepreneur is the importance of selling in private. Especially in this day and age where we are constantly bombarded with messages of buy, buy, buy it can get extremely overwhelming and annoying. So instead of telling people to buy from us in public we want to be able to do this in private.

You can achieve this by doing a few specific things. First of all you want to use the strategy of attraction marketing to get people interested in you, your story, and what you stand for. By implementing the strategy you were able to get people on your side already before they open their wallets.

I'm going to talk about attraction marketing in another post because it does deserve its own post, so we're going to focus on how to sell in private here.

When we are talking to people and engaging with them, we want to jump in a private chat as early as possible because then we can start creating a personal relationship with them.


Once we have created that relationship is much easier to ask for the sale when people are

actually engaged with you. Think about it…

Why do you buy coffee from the same coffee shop every single day on your way to work? It's because over time you have built a relationship with them that is meaningful to you. Even if it's just a nod or a good morning how are you, you have developed a relationship and therefore you have developed loyalty.

Loyalty is the biggest commodity that you can have with any kind of business relationship. Therefore it's important to cultivate that personal relationship before you ask for the sale because that way the loyalty already exists rather than having to prove yourself after the sale.

I know that for me, when I was working in Sydney’s CBD I often went to Winter Garden for lunch. I went there regularly because I always loved the noodle soup that was sold there. Some of my colleagues preferred the laksa, but I was always into the Tom Yum soup. (Literally my mouth is watering just at the thought of it now, and there's a small part of me that wants to hop on a plane back to Sydney just for the damn dish.) Now what makes me want to go so far for just a bowl of bloody noodles?

It’s not just because the noodle soup is so amazing, but also because I developed a relationship with the lady behind the counter. We would often chat about random things, ask about each other’s families and she would always give me extra spicy paste. We almost even went into business together at one point, LOL.

Besides that, I met some of my best friends over lunch at this place. It reminds me of a time when I felt truly alive, when I was so excited about what was to come, and when I was really, really happy. So it's not just about the bowl of noodles. And this is exactly how you need to look at selling. It’s not just about your products.

It's about the entire experience. And you cannot create individual experiences unless you pay a butt load of money in personalized selling techniques (which we can talk about if you want). The best way to do this is through private selling. You can make the experience so personal because you’re able to hit on exactly what it is that they need or want in their lives that you have a solution for.


And now I'm going to talk about something that's a little bit more uncomfortable to talk about perhaps. We're going to talk about the importance of driving home the pain. Now I'm not saying this because I think it's easy to manipulate people, or that you should. I think that integrity and selling is a super important _. Check out my article here about integrity. If you haven't already read that maybe you should check that out before you continue here because otherwise I’m going to sound like a bit of a bee-yotch.

When you are selling you have to drive home the pain. Because that’s the only reason why people want to buy from you. You offer a solution that they otherwise wouldn’t have, to a problem that they are experiencing. For me, I have to drive home the reality of a tired life and unfocused and uninspired work. I have probably done this with a few of you already. And the pain of that is going to be so great that you want to have my product, which is my coaching so that you can actually get out of it. I have a clear solution to your pain and this is exactly why I’m pointing this pain out to you.

And the same goes for my social media stuff. I point out where you're lacking in your social media so that you can actually improve upon it to give yourself a better platform to give yourself more of an opportunity to reach people in order to do your best work. But without my product you’re not going to be able to get there as fast, which is why my solution exists.

I'm driving home the pain by asking the question "what would happen if you didn't do anything about it now?" In this way I am reminding you that you need to get your sh*t together in order to actually move forward in your business. Without moving forward in your business you’re going to stay the same. And what happens when we don’t change? Our situation doesn’t change either.

This is another beautiful reason to sell in private. You don't want to air people's dirty laundry out in public to humiliate them. This is a very personal thing for many. Social media can be very difficult... Hell, your business can be difficult. Your business is a very private thing. It’s your baby. I get that, better than most. So by selling in private I am showing you how much I respect you and your baby.

Can I talk about pain in public though?...

Yeah, of course you can talk about pain in public. I do this often. Because I want people to understand that I know what they're going through, that I understand their pain. And once they recognize that, once they reach out saying “hey I feel the same”, then I'm able to create that personal bond with them so that we can actually move forward and help them with whatever problem it is that they have.


Now this is another part of private selling that I find super important. I really pride myself in using this technique as a way to connect with people on a deeper level: meeting them where they’re at.

I think when we're in business and sales, there is a tendency to want to put people in specific boxes. We want them to fit into the mold of what we think it is that they need to be or they should be and often we can pigeonhole them, which will make people feel misunderstood. I know that that has happened to me many a time. And especially when you’re selling high ticket items, this can be detrimental to your sales process.

Meeting people where they’re at requires a lot of active listening. Understanding what they mean, reading between the lines, and hearing where the limitations are of their belief system that could hinder them from buying from you.

A really great example is when I spoke to a lady recently that had quit her job to create her own online business. She wasn't sure what she wanted to do, she was putting her fingers in a few different pots, and she was getting a little bit overwhelmed. She thought that I could help direct her a little.

On paper, she is an ideal client for me. She wants to do her own business, she has the drive and she has the funds to progress as well. However, talking to her and hearing what she was saying made me realize that she might not really be ready yet. She was still in the discovery stage she still has a lot of things she needed to “fail” at before she could actually dive into something full on and give it her best shot. Me taking her on as a client would only confuse her more, stress her out more and ultimately my coaching would not have benefited her. It was in that moment that I had to say no. I was very kind (obviously I was going to stay kind) but I wasn’t going to offer her my programs because it wasn’t going to be useful for her anyway.


So there you have it, sell in private. Do not let the fear of not attracting customers, do not let the fear of not being seen, drive you to sell in public. There is no reason, absolutely no reason, why you should ever have to sell in public if you are using attraction marketing. This is especially true for those who have online services or even services in general. You want to be attracting people rather than forcing them into a call with you. It’s going to make your customer attraction effortless.

In this vein, I would love it if you would take some time to work on the energy of running your business. I know it for me that working on my energetic “powers” if you will, has made a huge difference in how I come across to people. But that’s a bedtime story for another time.

Want to experience a coaching session with me? Book in for a taster session now!


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